I have always thought it was odd that men and women age in much the same way but we have different standards for the sexes. The idea that men become more attractive and distinguished with age may be true but it is only to a certain point. Volume loss occurs in the same areas of the face regardless of gender and yet men account for just 15 to 20 percent of aesthetic procedures. Stereotypes affect attitude as well, because men think facial aesthetics is for women only and “real men” don’t do that.

How do we reconcile these ideas in our youth-obsessed culture and work environment which discriminates based on age?

Thankfully the Baby Boomers (those approximately age 50 and older) are more open to cosmetic self-improvement than previous generations. If a woman encourages a man to pursue Botox, filler or even surgical correction, chances are he will follow through.

Why should women encourage their husbands to pursue cosmetic enhancement? I like talking to my patients and learning from them daily. Recently a woman who has been seeing me for years expressed interest in facelift surgery. She brought her husband to the consultation and we discussed the role of volume in facial rejuvenation. During the conversation she encouraged him to have fillers placed in his cheeks and Botox. He agreed and they left the office content with the experience.

I received a call from her five weeks later. She related to me that her husband is thrilled with his results. He looks and feels younger and has received many compliments at work about his appearance, even though his colleagues have no idea what he has done. She then delivered the lesson I want to share with you today. Now that her husband has experienced the benefits of these treatments, he has a deeper appreciation of them. He is now encouraging her to pursue her dream of having facelift surgery. He understands her desire to undergo the procedure and she no longer has to argue and defend her desire to have treatments.

Her initial motivation to help her husband benefitted her in the end. This is yet another lesson on the value of kindness.

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